Men....what would you want? You have been on an extended business trip, almost a month. All you have been able to think about the past week or so is coming home to your wife/girlfriend and the comfort of her presence. You are on the plane or in the car, hours away from seeing her again. Yes, you want to toss her on the floor right inside the front door, but after that - what is it your heart longs for? A wonderful dinner at home or taking her out? A beautiful atmosphere in the home or just the sense of relaxation at being home at all? What is your "welcome home" dream? What is most important to you about coming home to her?

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The true focus of the event that you have described is not necessarily rooted in a month-long business trip, but in energy focused towards the ultimate culmination of a deep and intimate love. The stage that you seek to build is a platform for you to express the true depths of your emotions and the perfect and uncomplicated vehicle for communicating the same.

If I was the male in this situation, I would recognize that this is a platform for you to express, in a pure, sensual format, your feelings of love for me. Seeing that love is based upon not what it does for you but what it does for others, it would simply not matter to me at all what you did. What is important is that you feel warm and secure enough within my presence for you to express the deepest and most intimate feelings that define your being. And that choice is for you and you alone to make. I would not in any way, shape, form or fashion seek to define for you how you wish to give to me what is dearest to your heart. For the very essence of love is always based upon the art of giving and the not the calculated total of what you receive. When two people operate within the realm of "you" then it will always be a united, seamless "us". And within the ultimate relationship of love, "I" would not enter the picture.

The hardest fact of truth that I have witnessed and lived is the fear of knowing the true reality of the relationship. As a species, we have devised, within the dating game, all sorts of mysteries, rituals and dances that prolong and obscure what another may really think of us. Those moments (like the one you have described) have the very raw potential for allowing us to know the truth about each other; it brings the very real possibility of showing a relationship's true essence. I by no means seek to undermine any of the sensual things that we as human beings find stimulating, but the true test of love will always lie within the purity in which we accept communication from the one who we profess to love. If a man truly loves you, he needs to let you be yourself, and give you the freedom and space to do so.

In other words, if I was gone for a month, and Mindy wanted to greet me doing a table dance butt naked with a yellow rose between her teeth, (besides it needing to be a strong table), it would be the pleasure in the sincerity in her eyes that would mean the most to me. And if she wanted to instead go tear up Manhattan like the old days, that's okay, too. Because the one thing that I found that really marked the most satisfying relationships I ever had is whatever we did, we enjoyed together; because eventually, it all boils down to the communication between us...whether it be a laugh, a comment, or an all-knowing glance...not to mention a deep, soulful trip taken in each other's eyes. Besides being my lover, Mindy is also my best friend and confidante. So what I always enjoy doing with her, is sitting down with a cup of Green Mountain coffee and cussing and discussing anything that crosses our minds. A true cerebral interaction with her is what gives me the most pleasure.

Have the self confidence and fearlessness to let your partner take the lead, be himself, because if it is meant to be, that is the only way you will know how he really feels.