Off the Beaten Path, Unusual Links

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Did you know that in Boston, a "hoodsie" is a cup of ice cream? Or in New York, if you ask for a "poppy wit a schmear" you're asking for a bagel and cream cheese? Did you know that in Miami, they call The Kennedy Space Center the "Rocket Ranch"? This fun site, Slanguage, lists slang terms from all over the country and the world. In Dallas, they might say, "ya'll better be fixin' to check it out."

If you have dated, or are thinking of dating via the internet, you absolutely must check out Internet Dating, Love Online-The Risks and Hazards. A cornucopia of real-life horror stories and happy endings both, this site also teaches you about what red flags to watch out for, and how to protect your heart in cyberspace. Takes submissions and also answers letters. Go see it now.

Find-A-Grave. Roadkill Tacos. Museum of Bad Art. It's all here at Wacky Hospitality Sites, Wacky Sites about Tourism, Hotels, Conventions, Restaurants, Food, Travel and Entertainment. From funny food songs to meat-o-rama to getting married by Elvis in Vegas, this site has everything offbeat and weird. I love it.

The Dick List has to be one of the best places for trash reading. Here you'll find a cornucopia of angry women bitching about those guys who "done them wrong". Some of it's sad, some of it's awful, some of it is hysterically funny. I urge you to check it out. Uh....I don't think that the guys will love this page a whole lot.

Facade is a cool web site for those who want to see the future. Whether you're into tarot cards, I Ching, runes or Biorhythms, you can get an instant and free personal reading by entering a question and clicking a button. The graphics are quite beautiful, too.

Candor's Reminder Page is perfect for you if you just can't remember your parents' anniversary or your Uncle Melvin's birthday. Fill out the form and they will send you an email reminder as much in advance as you'd like. It has saved my ample butt quite a few times.

"Leave the gun. Take the cannolli." "I don't want my brother coming outta that bathroom with just his dick in his hand." Ahhh. Two of my favorite lines from my favorite movie. The Godfather Trilogy Page is the best place on the net if you're a Godfather fan. Fuggedaboudit.

Oh yeah, there is nothing more beautiful than a nice, loud, robust fart. And when you visit Fart Fart Fart Fart Page, you have your pick of the best farts ever recorded. When I listen to my favorites--"Urge" and "Horny Moose"---it is as beautiful to me as a Beethoven sonata or a Bach violin concerto. When you are feeling blue and need some beautiful music to listen to, check this site out. I won't tell anyone.

I especially love word games where I have to create as many words as possible from a set of letters. And the most addictive game of this kind can be found at WordZap!, oneof the best games of this kind I have ever played. Just go there and download it and you'll be neglecting your everyday responsibilities in no time. Yup, it is free. But I suggest you register it (a one-time fee of $25); then you'll get to make bigger words and words nobody ever heard of, like "blat." Blat? That sounds like it should be on the fart page.

Do you love Kaleidescopes? I do. This screensaver changes the colors, tones, shapes, speed of the design, and I have never seen the same thing twice. Sometimes I just sit and stare at it, it is just so beautiful. It is Kaleidescope, the most gorgeous screensaver I have ever seen (besides mine, of course, which is the most beautiful.*heh*)

I am so farctate; that was quite a meal. I have nothing to do today, so I think I'll sarcle in the garden. Enjoy learning rare and obscure words? Check out the Grandiloquent Dictionary. It's not for you if you are sophophobic. ;)

Remember Fizzies? Chocolate Babies? Gum Cigarettes? Goldenberg's Peanut Chews? Mary Janes? All the old favorites that you grew up with and haven't had in years are here at Hometown Favorites. You won't believe the selection, as well as the memories they will bring back.

You've been singing the lyrics to a song for years, until one day somebody hears you and cracks up because you've got the words all wrong. One guy listed on this site thought, "Joe, where are you going with that gun in your hand?" was really, "Pedro, where are you going with that gum in your hand?" One of the funniest sites I have ever seen, Kiss This Guy.Com, the Archive of Misheard Song Lyrics, is a must-see.

You give and you give but he still remains aloof. What's the best way to get out of a bad relationship? The Love Advice Library is probably the best dating and love advice resource library I have ever seen. They cover a wide range of topics and I recommend this site for both genders. They have a cool search feature that makes it easy to find whatever topic that interests you.

From the site: "This is a simple introduction to poorly photographed foodstuffs and horrid recipes. It's a wonder anyone in the 40s, 50s and 60s gained any weight; it's a miracle that people didn't put down their issue of Life magazine with a slight queasy list to their gut, and decide to sup on a nice bowl of shredded wheat and nothing else. It wasn't that the food was inedible; it was merely dull. Everything was geared for a timid palate fearful of spice. It wasn't non- nutritious - no, between the limp boiled vegetables, fat-choked meat cylinders and pink-whipped-jello dessert, you were bound to find a few calories that would drag you into the next day. It's that the pictures are so hideously unappealing." The Gallery of Regrettable Food. Check it out, it's a must for those who want a taste of American history instead of good food.

From the webpage: "What were they thinking? ...It's going to be a futuristic, state-of-the-art motel with every modern convenience from water beds to 8-tracks. The entire dining area will be covered in deep-pile pink and purple carpet. But wait - here's the best part. It will look like an abstract sculpture of a giant turkey. We'll bill it as a romantic getaway - and call it The Gobbler!" Check out The Gobbler, without a doubt the most hideous, poorly-designed assault to the senses in the form of a motel I have ever seen. You must see this, but wear glasses and swallow hard first. A hearty thank you to the inimitable Les Toil for bringing this unusual site to our attention.