General Board
Phoenix 118, Central Coast 66
Posted By: Kris (198.81.17.184)
Date: Monday, 9 July 2001, at 7:08 p.m.That's the temperature, not the point spread !
Just returned in the past hour from a completely awesome four days in Arizona....mostly Prescott. Ray in a nationally ranked softball umpire and he was officiating for the Men's Seniors National Championship. It also happened to be his birthday, so I had more fun than usual, sneaking around and planting surprises here and there. Truthfully, it was a total hoot ! And I have NEVER felt so appreciated in my life. He's quite a man, that guy o' mine !!!
Had an interesting encounter on the plane last week, though. I entered the cabin and saw my seat...headed toward it and the occupant of the neighboring seat made a comment such as "Oh, great...now I am going to spend the next two hours crammed in here like a sardine." I restrained myself from calling him a giant prick. It would have been a compliment.
I put the arm rest up in order to sit down, and he tried to cram it back down again, only to be met with some resistance from The Hips. As he repeatedly slammed the armrest into me, I was tempted to offer him an anatomically impossible solution to the impasse. After a moment's deliberations, I instead smiled sweetly and said "Ya know buddy, I think I win." He sucked his bony ass as far to the other side as he could, and started motioning for the flight attendant. She was not impressed with his protestations, however, since he had several inches of room to spare. He just felt (insert whiny voice her) crooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwded. She explained that the plane was full, and that all he need do was relax and it would be fine. (It was a "pull your head out of your ass, dick wad" moment.) In the two hour flight, I managed to ease my way in his direction about three inches...just to piss him off.
Just before deplaning, after two hours of tense silence, I decided to end the encounter on a humorous note. I leaned over and told this condescending "just tomato juice for me, I am watching my weight" bung hole: "You know, obesity is contagious. And I am a carrier."
He looked like someone had just told him he was pregnant.
Kris