General Board
What the $?(!@^!%^$?* is wrong with people!?!!
Posted By: Blue
Knight (149.101.1.109)
Date: Thursday, 12 April 2001, at 2:30 p.m.
As most of you are aware, I am working two jobs these days, full time as a computer specialist and part time in retail sales. I have been doing the part time bit since last August and I have to tell ya, if I was to do it full time, I'd hafta kill some #@%&$# people!!
If nothing else, I can truthfully say that I have gotten an education. You know how every once in a while, you run into that one sales person that seems to be on their very last nerve? Well, I now understand completely! Everything from stupid questions to just plain stupid people (the kind that can't find their ass even when they are sitting on their hands) to stupid co-workers just have to push the buttons.
If your not in the mood for a really nasty rant, then read no farther, this is one I have needed to do for months but have been putting off. Sorry, but I can't hold back anymore, I have to let loose!
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The Stupid List
Why is it that people can not resist opening a box containing a large, impossible to re-pack, item that just happens to have a picture of the item on the front of the box? Hmmmmmm???!?!??! Do they want to see if it really looks like the picture!!?!!! "Yes, I know that it has a picture of a golf bag on the front, but I wanted to be sure that it really wasn't a bicycle instead. Duuuh... That's okay, I'm really not interested in buying it. I just wanted to compare it to the pictures on the box. Duuuh..." {Grrrrrr} (Yes, I did really have a customer say the last two sentences to me, minus the "Duuuh" parts)
Another favorite is the person that likes to take items off the hook and just toss them on the floor or to carry them to another part of the store and leave them there! We sell batting gloves, they come in different sizes so a customer has to try them on before deciding to buy them, right. Okay, so why not put them back into the damn package and then hang them back on the damn hook!?!! Oh no, that would be the nice, well mannered, good home training thing to do. Instead, the customer (who, even though they are often wrong, is always right) tosses the empty package on the floor, then stands on the package while they try on the glove that doesn't fit their gorilla hand to begin with, then they toss the too small glove on the floor and place their other big foot on top of it while they repeat the same process over and over and over again.
Under the catagory of "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions"
1. "Excuse me, do you work here?"
"No, I just get a kick out of going into stores and cleaning up the aisels."
2. "Excuse me, do you work here?"
"No, I always wear a uniform when I go shopping."
Under the catagory of "Stupid Things to Say about People with Baseball Bats"
1. "Don't worry about it, he'll clean it up, that's his job."
2. "Okay son, I'm going to throw you a heater!" ("heat" or a "heater" is a slang term for a very fast pitch in baseball ~ remember, this is inside a crowded store!)
3. "Well you wouldn't buy a car without test driving it." (This is the same rocket scientist from number 2 above when I told him to stop. BTW, he complained about me to corporate HQ because I replied, "You wouldn't test drive a car in the showroom")
Interesting Incidents that make sales people go "Hmmmmm....."
1. Adults who love to jam single edged razor blades into the safety key hole of a tread mill so that they can show off to their friends and family that they really can't run at 10 miles per hour. (Always surprised me just how far a human body can go when zooming through the air at 10 MPH!
)
2. Adults who just can't understand why it isn't smart to ride a bicycle around the inside of the store. (substitute scooter or skate board or inline skates for bicycle) These are the same dopes that have the cajones to sue when they fall down and break themselves! (I always find it hard to believe that these people are not embarrassed by their own stupidity!)
Random stupidity....
1. "Excuse me, where is the... (whatever item that they happen to be standing in front of) ...at?"
2. "Excuse me, is this the only size baseball that you carry?"
3. "How fast can this bicycle go?"
4. "I just don't understand why I need to show my driver's license just to buy a shotgun" (or a rifle or bullets or a paint ball gun etc...)
5. "Your f***ing nuts to be charging $300.00 for a baseball bat" (This after I explained that the company, NOT ME, sets the price based on the Manufacturers Suggested Retail Price)
6. "You don't stock left handed batting gloves in the winter!? You make me f***ing sick!" To which this gentleman's(?) wife said, "Now be nice." and he replied, "I am being nice!" This was the first customer I ever had the extreme pleasure of physically removing from the store.
7. "Don't you tell my child that they can't play hockey in this store!!"
8 "How come this other gym bag isn't on sale and yet costs less even though it is bigger? That's not very smart business."
9. "Betcha' a beer that I can put this cue ball in my mouth" (I honestly had thought this was a joke and that no one would ever do this, well, I was wrong!)
10. "Why would you even sell a tennis racquet without strings?"
11. {customer} "I'm going to sue you! I just fell off your f***ing ladder!"
{me} "Really, which one?"
{customer} "The one that has those two 2 foot square signs on either side that read 'Store Employee Use ONLY'" (Nother rocket scientist)
Once again, after more than 30 years, I am reminded that a lot of people, if given half a chance, will prove that they really aren't too terribly bright.