General Board

Mindy. Honey.

Posted By: Vickie <midwife@abundancemagazine.com> (63.28.217.78)
Date: Sunday, 5 November 2000, at 2:10 p.m.

In Response To: May I carve you a slice of dread? (Mindy)

 

Let me share with you some of the things I learned this weekend at the amazing seminar I attended. Bear in mind that it's still all jumbled up in my mind, not processed yet, and I no doubt will not give it the credit that it deserves.

One thing Caroline Myss talked about is the tribe mentality that we all carry with us; this tribe was very useful in times when we were running from saber toothed tigers, and can still be helpful in times of war or if there's a threat on the family. However, one of the things that a tribe mentality does that is negative is tell us how to think -- about ourselves, about each other, and about the world. Breaking away from that is very threatening to the group; it's also scary to us because it makes us realize that we really ARE individuals and in fact could be ostracized. (Do you feel isolated by their comments? Ostracized? "Different"?? If so you're picking up on that "I just want to belong" belief that many of us feel, not to mention the group dynamic that "We don't want you to like yourself TOO much." Know what I mean?)

My advice to you is this: take back your power, Mindy. You can't run your life, or your body, when allowing others to decide how you should feel about yourself -- today, tomorrow, or any other day. We do ourselves the greatest damage when we allow anyone other than ourselves to decide how to feel about ourselves; this is something that, as you well know, I suffer from as well. It's probably the biggest stumbling block the huge majority of us have. Yes, I know it's not easy, and it's something that we won't always be sucessful at. But I'm going to try, and I hope you do the same.

On a side note, once I became aware of what I was doing, it made a visit to another SA site much easier on me, psychically. I could read the negative comments about me and maintain a safe distance from them -- after all, they really have nothing to do with ME. They're about whatever issues that person is struggling with -- I just wear the face, is all. It does get much much easier; I just hope I can maintain it.

So, while you say you don't have control over how you feel, honey allow me to point out that you DO have ultimate control. You just have to figure out (and I'm happy to help you!) how to take back your power. We have precious little of it; do those people really deserve to be getting yours??? No, of course not. (Caroline had a visual that we have basically $100 dollars of psychic/emotional energy that comes to us each day; we give the HUGE majority of it over to past childhood traumas, people who pull our strings, the guy on the freeway who cut us off, leaving us very little for the huge job of running our body, walking our path, realizing our dreams. We have to keep that energy for ourselves, take it back if you will, and use it wisely.)

Just remember, honey. Those people, in fact, NO ONE, not even Tina and I, have the right to control how you feel about yourself. You get to decide that. You know you're beautiful, strong, intelligent and a child of God; what more do you need??? And if you're imagining those reactions from them (or it could be that they're real), just know that it's about THEM and the lessons they need to learn in life -- it ain't about you. You're just the mirror, wearing the face, if you will, if the stuff they need to learn on their spiritual path. So let them think what they want and be strong in who you know you are.

I hope this helps -- or at least doesn't sound as crazy as I'm sure it does. At some point, if you're interested, I'll send you some audio tapes of the seminar and you can get it from the horse's mouth, so to speak.

I love you, honey. And I'm with Tina: awesome title. If I didn't love you so much I'd be jealous of you!

Hugs,

Vickie

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