Re: Oprah Winfrey...

Posted By: Angela (216.34.244.63)
Date: Tuesday, 11 July 2000, at 1:37 p.m.

In Response To: Oprah Winfrey... (Vickie, Chick Board Midwife)

Oprah

Vickie, this is a really good question. I've watched Oprah Winfrey fairly regularly for almost 10 years, now. And I've watched her struggle with her weight with (not surprisingly) varying results. It was her "success" with Opti-crap -- I mean, Opti-fast that made me try it...and "fail" miserably. I admit that I, too, felt a weird sense of vindication when the weight came back time after time. Now, as for Oprah's weight, I don't care if she continues to diet. Like you, Vickie, I'm not real thrilled about how she espouses the thought that fat people are fat because of out-of-control eating. But, it's not like the public at large doesn't hear that from every corner of American society, anyway. What *does* bother me is that she preaches the belief that all fat people are miserable. On a recent show titled "Weight Loss Firsts" (about people who did something or other for the first time as a result of substantial weight loss), she said, "And I know there are some people who say, 'You can be happy at the size you are' but, they're just fooling themselves." THAT p*ssed me off ROYALLY.

You see, about 2 years ago, after I found out that my most-recent weight gains were due (almost entirely) to a medication that had a known side effect of weight gain, I came (at first reluctantly) to SA. I noticed that I obsessed over food more when I went on a diet and that, ultimately, I wasn't prepared to *live* on the diet-du-jour for the rest of my life (and thus, obsess about food for the rest of my life). I realized that my weight was not a measure of my character, nor was it a measure of my intelligence. After a lifetime of dieting to lose weight, this was (and continues to be) a slow process of changing my mind instead of trying to change my body. And, oddly enough, as I've quit obsessing over food (and as that medication has slowly left my body), a little weight has come off with little, if any, change in diet. Wait...let me amend that...I am trying to eat a lower carb diet (although, not a particular type of diet like Sugar Busters or Carbohydrate Addicts) to manage PCOS but if I don't lose an *ounce* that's no big deal because that's not my goal.

Along the way, I had 2 epiphanies that really changed my life. First, I figured out that someone took fun activities and labeled them "exercise" and started putting requirements on them (you had to do it X number of times a week, for Y number of minutes and you had to get your heart rate up for Z percent of those minutes). The "E" word then became a mental battering ram with which every doctor proceeded to beat me over the head. Well, what ever happened to just going out and having fun? When did playing become worthless? I'm thinking about the in-line skating thing but I need to find out if there's a weight limit for the skates and I need a source for super sized knee pads and elbow pads. I liked Victoria's beach ball idea, too. The second epiphany was that in order to have fun I had to just go out and live my life. That means, not putting on a long-sleeve shirt in the swamp-like heat of Summer because of my fleshy upper arms (like nobody knew what was under all that fabric, anyway). It means auditioning for shows (even very physical shows) without worrying about whether my body is right for the part but whether my *talent* is right for the part. It means not letting someone else's ideas about what a fat body can do rule what I do with my person (because I am so much more than just my body).

The funny thing is that a few weeks ago, a friend who is fat said that what he admires about me is that I don't act like a fat woman. Now, I suppose coming from a thin person I would take that as an insult but he explained what he meant. He said, "You don't let your weight hold you back. It just doesn't seem to be an issue for you." I explained that I don't think my weight will ever *not* be an issue for me to *some* degree but that I won't let it be an issue for other people.

So, I submit that Oprah's weight is an issue because she *makes* it an issue for other people. And if she'd just live her authentic life to the fullest (like she's telling other people to do) without obsessing over one particular aspect of it, she'd see that more weight doesn't equal a miserable life. And I submit that people would focus on some other aspect of her life.

As for Oprah or Rosie being a role model, I don't think they have a responsibility to fat women to represent us unless they take up the mantle to do so. (I mean, Camryn Manheim affirmatively took up the challenge.) It's kind of like how I don't think sports figures have a responsibility to be role models for kids. They have no responsibility to anyone but themselves. Trying to make Oprah and Rosie into role models for plus-sized women (when they're clearly not comfortable being plus-sized in their own skin) is a self-defeating purpose. I think that we serve ourselves better by telling the entertainment industry (and the marketing industry that financially supports it) when we see what we like and when we see what we don't like. If there's no demand for plus-sized actors/singers/dancers/entertainers then we take what we get (including the Chubb Club and making the connection). The bottom line is that if we want role models, we're going to have to do the work of making them, supporting them and promoting them.

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