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Today's Experience with a fat hater

Posted By: Anna <anna@plusmodels.com> (24.4.252.248)
Date: Wednesday, 7 June 2000, at 10:41 p.m.

I took my kids to the pediatrician's office today for my son to get his physical so he can start work. I left Daria, who is almost 11 in the waiting room while I went back there with Evan (he wanted me with him). Well, during the "personal" part of the exam I left the room and sat right outside in a chair in the hall. This woman was standing outside of an examining room with her daughter who was about 9 or 10. She was scolding this beautiful child apparently for having gained weight since her last visit, saying somthing to the effect of, "SEE, I TOLD you that you have gained weight! NO one is EVER going to like a FAT little girl! You will NEVER find a husband looking like this, so you need to think about that when you are cramming all that food into your mouth like you do." The little girl had tears in her eyes and just hung her head. Needless to say, I was appalled and horrified that this woman (very skinny in her channel-type suit) was chiding this poor child who was not incredibly overweight...she had what I think of as a little "baby fat" but was not obese by any means. I am not one to stick my nose into other's people's business and I certainly don't like confrontations, but I felt I had to say something so I sort of chuckled and she whipped her head around and saw me sitting there (and me NOT skinny in my black capris and sandals) and gave me this "look", to which I replied, "well, if men don't like fat girls, then someone needs to tell the MEN that because I receive compliments and admiration from men all the time! To which she haughtily replied, "but they don't MARRY them". I just held up my hand and tapped my 3.5 carat diamond wedding ring with my finger and said, "oh, but they DO...they just have to be really fast because there's usually a very long line..." She didn't say anything else...just sorta turned and walked away, daughter trailing behind her.

I dunno...do you think that was just totally b*tchy of me??? This woman just really got to me. My daughter, as most of you know, is adopted. She wants to be me (at this point in her life...that will change, I know) and wants to be big, like me. She wants big boobs, a soft tummy...she wants to be fat 1)because she wants to look like her mommy and 2)because she sees and watches very closely the admiration that men show to me and says that she thinks in order to be attactive that one must be fat (imagine a little girl thinking THAT!!!) So, this whole thing got me thinking today...what message am I sending to my daughter about weight and the whole attractiveness factor? Does she really think that you must be a certain way, be it fat or skinny, in order to be attractive? I certainly hope not. I think as a BBW, I tend to be more passionate about the fat acceptance movement and I try really hard to point out differences in people and that the differences make them beautiful and individual. So, worrying that Daria thinks that she has to be fat in order to be attractive, I asked her what she thinks makes a woman attractive. Her answer totally shocked me: "Mom, what makes a woman attractive is her confidence in herself." I asked how she had come to that conclusion and she said, "Duh mom, you told me that!" I then asked her if she knows how beautiful she is and she said that yes, she knows she is..."mom you tell me that all the time". I just hope someone important in that little girl's life will tell her that she's beautiful too. My heart just breaks for her as I remember snippets of my forgotten childhood with an abusive ex-stepmother, who would say horrible things to me and lock me in the cellar while my father was gone. The one constant in my life was my mother and she has always told me I am beautiful, intelligent and loved. That has made all the difference in my life.

If you have a daughter, go give her a hug and tell her how beautiful she is! I wish I could have done that for the little girl today.

Hugs to you all,
Anna

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