General Discussion Board

Les's post........and some hard thinking.........

Posted By: Cleacia <TaurusVixn@aol.com> (205.188.192.58)
Date: Monday, 8 May 2000, at 6:59 p.m.

In Response To: I went to a big WLS meeting last week (Les)

I started off writing this as a private letter to Les. But I got to thinking about something someone mentioned to me once in an e-mail. They said they (I'm paraphrasing) were surprised at my personality coming out in the letters because I only show a certain side of me on the boards. They are right......I rarely get in heated debates and I try and stay neutral on many topics. In the past I never really had an opinion on WLS.....I am one that believes ppl should do what they want if that's what good for them. Also, I never really thought about where it stands regarding the SA community. I used to think SA was great......I still think it has it's wonderful points......but I also see how if you don't fit a certain look......or a certain attitude how you can be left out. Is that really SA when things like that happen? I am going by the many bashes and conventions I went to last year. The negativity is one reason I stopped going to them. I am still very mixed on it. I do think the movement has done much to better many of our lives.....but the internal discrimination really bothers me. Man, I digress a lot......so I've been thinking about many of the posts here and decided to post my letter publically than just privately to Les.

Lessy;
I don't know if I ever mentioned that my mom had her stomach stapled back in 1980. Back then it was so new and I had no idea really what it was until yrs later. She went thru months where she threw up......I remember rice and corn as being the worst. She was 5' and around 200lbs as far as I can remember. She lost down to about 160....I'm guessing here. Eventually she was able to stretch her stomach enough and she gained back up to around 180+ but never gained more weight. Even to the end she would have occassional bowel problems. I wish now I had spoken to her about it.......but you never realize until it's too late that things should have been said. I realize more and more that there was so much I never thought to talk to her about. Anyway, I digress. I think your post was very good. To tell you the truth.....I see more ppl with good results from surgery than I do bad.....but then I'm also not doing serious research on it. There is a girl who works for Lane Bryant and she had it last summer........from everything she has told me this has been a miracle in her life. And unlike most ppl......I think she and Carnie Wilson look great and they seem happy which I am all for. Lately I have tossed around the idea of if I would ever do it. Would it mean turning my back on SA? I know that I would lose friends over it. I think one has to ask themselves if they are loving themselves to death if they choose not to do something that in the end MIGHT possibly improve their quality of life. I am talking about actually physical problems....not emotional vanity. It's taken me a few months to admit to myself.......but I was physically healthier and happier (with my physical self) 30lbs ago. I just hate that I get out of breath after climbing 1 flight of stairs. I think everyone has a weight limit and I can admit now that mine is around 300 or less. I still love the way I look but the thought of getting so fat that I can't enjoy the things I love, scares me. So........would I have surgery? I dunno. Right now, no, most likely. But 10-20 yrs from now......who knows. I think it's only a matter of time before this surgery is perfected like anything else. I rarely see 60y/o ppl above 300lbs and that worries me (in my experiences). I don't want to be one that cuts their life short because of extra pounds and this comes from seeing my mom die so young due to many things they say are worsened by weight. I love myself.......and believe me I love my curves and my fat...but do I love them so much I am willing to potentially lose yrs of life over them........no. People that call ppl copouts or quitters because they have surgery are wrong. My mom wasn't a quitter......she did it so she could try and live longer for me. And really......who knows......had she not had surgery maybe she wouldn't have lived even to the age of 53 (with her exhisting health problems and all). I know one could turn it around and say if she hadn't had surgery maybe she would have lived longer.......we'll never know unfortunately.

Just wanted to say....yours and other people's posts have really gotten me to thinking about the whole WLS and SA community......where they fit in with each other and can the 2 coincide together. Shouldn't size acceptance be about loving yourself no matter what your size or how you got to that size? Do you love yourself any less if you have WLS to go from 350lbs to 250lbs? If your personal quality of life is effected by your weight.......then why shouldn't you love and care enough about yourself to try and improve that? In my opinion it's still acceptance. One day I plan to talk more in depth to those who have had the surgery. I am a curious person and I like to learn about different things......and I want to in the end be more educated. I think it was Victoria (and forgive me if I'm wrong) who said she wanted to find out more info so she could be better in SA. I think that is "spot on" as Martin would say.....and I agree with educating oneself to different aspects. I read with great interest..her posts and Tracy's on PCOS (not sure of the initials)...I want to know and understand the different aspects of obesity. I don't want to be one that hides my head in the sand to the negative side of it.....as someone who was in the health field...I owe it to myself to continue to educate myself on something that is near to me.....and that is my fat.

Anyway....just wanted to put out some thoughts rambling around in my head. People close with "don't flame me" but I know I won't be flamed here at Abundance :).

 

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