General Discussion Board
The problem is...
Posted By: Redster <macisme@primenet.com> (216.103.35.107)
Date: Tuesday, 1 February 2000, at 10:20 p.m.In Response To: I agree with you in part Victoria..... (Blue Knight)
...neither heterosexual or homosexual couples in "committed" relationships without benefit of marriage have any rights or say in the following situations/issues as they pertain to their "partner:"
1. Medical issues: Deciding what type of care, etc. can/can't be given if the person is unable to make those decisions (i.e., especially in emergency situations). This also applies to visitation, in that most hospitals have an "immediate family only" policy under certain circumstances (not that it is necessarily legally enforceable, but most people won't make waves in a hospital).
2. Funeral preparations: People who are not married have no legal right to make decisions for their departed loved one. Often the family steps in and does exactly the opposite of what their (often estranged) son or daughter would have wished—and likely had already communicated to their partner.
3. Insurance issues: Non-married partners have no right to be added onto their partner's insurance policy as a "spouse." While I agree with this aspect in general between heterosexual couples—'cause we have the OPTION of marriage, this is totally unfair to homosexual couples who don't have the option of marriage.
4. Beneficiary issues: Many insurance policies, etc. don't allow for beneficiaries other than blood relatives or spouses. That leaves out all non-marital "partners."
5. Child custody & parenting: There is a mistaken perception that gays and lesbians are ALL promiscuous, thereby child custody issues are clouded and rarely allow for fair visitation/access. Perhaps with a legally sanctioned marriage, this would change.
I know, I know... There's the argument: "Well, just sign a Power of Attorney" for your partner. A Power of Attorney, however, is not a real solution—it simply makes one place one's responsibilities and decision making processes into another's hands before there is any real need.
As for the "sanctity" of marriage and its moral/religious roots...
1. The Christian and Jewish religions are not the only religions on the planet, folks, nor are they the most prevalent. As such, to impose the Judeo-Christian ethics, etc. onto the rest of the country (or countries) is kind of arrogant. There are quite a few religions that sanction plural marriages (although I personally am not an advocate), even though the practice in the U.S. is not allowed by law.
2. Few heterosexual couples go into marriage with any sort of reality of what the commitment really means. They blithely plan their overblown spectacles and spend obscene amounts of money to impress themselves and each other, and forget WHY they want to be together in the first place. Half of those marriages end in divorce. What makes that superior to my friends, a lesbian couple, who have been together for 25 years, and who have owned a business together for 10 of those years, and who have a respectful, happy and successful "marriage?" Shouldn't they be allowed to enjoy legal rights to their "domestic" as well as their legal partnership? that's not to say that there aren't successful heterosexual marriages—there are, and I have a number of friends in them—but the principles by which they live those commitments is no different from their homosexual counterparts: mutual respect, friendship, love, commitment and loyalty.
3. Religion & God have been used as the excuse for centuries of depravity, torture, wars and oppression. True spirituality encompasses the ability to view another's path without judgment, and allow that their way may be different from our own, but no less valid in the whole scheme of things. IMHO... We're all praying, talking, whispering... whatever... to the same God, regardless of the many paths we may follow. Even those who don't have a spiritual path—or even discount the need for one—are on a spiritual journey, whether or not they recognize it.
The bottom line for me, I guess, is that I don't have the right to tell someone else how to live their life, and as long as the living of that life harms no one else, each person in our society deserves the sames rights as the next. My gay neighbours deserve the same respect I am accorded by law (which, unfortunately in today's U.S., is precious little as it is!).
Redster
( )M( )All From The Same Rainbow... A Story About Prejudice