General Discussion Board
Pride in one's body...
Posted By: Jane (152.163.206.187)
Date: Monday, 6 December 1999, at 9:36 p.m.In Response To: Todays' Topic -- Pride in one's body... (Tina, Board Moderator)
scanner's not hooked up, so the pic will have to wait...
"whether it's through movement, tactile sensation, or visual beauty, what physical attribute/s do you feel the best about?"
all of the above :-} i am a whole person, not just a body. as much as the idea of having a place on the net where my size (5'3", about 245 lbs.) is accepted an appreciated, i'd want to be accepted and appreciated physically at 100 or 500 lbs. frankly, i'm as turned off by a man who IS interested in me simply because of my size as i am by a man who is NOT. either position is shallow, taking into account only one small aspect of the person i am.
i remember in 8th grade there were these two girls that tortured me the whole year--Paula Stinnette and Kami Krieger. i'd love to forget them, but i know i never will. i remember turning to Paula one time in the girl's locker room and saying to her, "I'M not fat." she didn't understand, so i repeated myself, saying something about how even though my body is fat, "I'M not fat." she just said, "yes you are!" i guess either she wasn't as philosophical for her age as i was, or she just didn't want to consider the PERSON she was abusing.
i remember thinking so many times how WRONG it was that despite my intelligence, my personality, my humor, my compassion, my abundant talents, all so many people could see was my weight. that composed at least 80% of who they thought i was, not even 10% of who I thought i was. i withdrew back then, refusing to over-compensate for their blindness by adapting my personality to fit their sick system.
20 years later--i'm 37 now--i'm not so bitter; i'm more accepting of the human frailties that make us susceptible to society's definitions of beauty. i try to educate people as much as i can, but on an individual basis, i'm more forgiving of people's ignorance.
still, it's unfortunate that so many are afraid to appreciate the beauty of a large woman, or of any woman or man that doesn't fit current definitions of attractiveness.
as for myself, i am a BEAUTIFUL woman. i was beautiful in high school and i didn't even know it. i was beautiful two years ago at 300 lbs., near my top weight of 314. i am very tactile, very passionate, very sensual. i am in love with all of my senses and wouldn't miss a chance to experience any of them. i am grateful that i have a body and a soul that can appreciate the beauty i see all around me every day, the sounds of music and nature, the taste of great food, and the pleasure of a sexual experience. i have a great body from a my beautiful face to my large breasts and even to my swelling ankles... i am beautiful inside and out and it shows.
i also love that i can sing. i sang in a restaurant for several years. once a man asked me to come over to his table. he was with a beautiful, average-sized, big-breasted blonde. i expected the usual compliment about my voice. instead, at 300 lbs, he said that what had blown him away was my "beauty." another man recently said that i had "the most beautiful smile" he'd ever seen... still another called me "the girl with the laughing eyes." now, THOSE are compliments.
so yeah, fat, thin, or inbetween, i LOVE my body. and i've never met a woman who wasn't beautiful.
Jane