Astrological Abuse

Posted By: Maybelline (209.75.196.106)
Date: Sunday, 19 September 1999, at 10:46 p.m.

Rather than my previous practice of abusing people with my posts on an individual basis, I have decided to insult you all at one with a single post that will allow all you worthless nobodies to benefit from my vast and endless font of knowledge

Read on, peons…..

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ARIES (March 21 - April 19) - My headstrong friend, usually your "plow ahead" approach to things works for you. But not around ME!! You can’t intimidate me - don’t even TRY!!!

TAURUS (April 20 - May 20) - Slow and steady usually wins the race, dear Taurean. But not when you’re racing against ME!!! I will ALWAYS win!!!!

GEMINI (May 21 - June 20) - Okay, I know a thing or two about twins. Really I do!! But as talkative as you are, dear Gemini, don’t try to out-talk ME!! It will never happen, my friend!!

CANCER (June 21 - July 22) - Just stay in your corner crying, you moody baby!! You’re not even worth wasting my time telling you why you are so obviously inferior to me in every way…..

LEO (July 23 - August 22) - King of the forest? Humph!! Well, you can’t claim the name of royalty, dear Leo -- it’s MINE and MINE ALONE!!!!!

VIRGO (August 23 - September 22) - Virgin my ass….

LIBRA (September 23 - October 23) - So everyone loves a Libra, huh!! WELL, NOT ME!!!!

SCORPIO (October 24 - November 22) - Well, dear Scorpio, we know which head you think with, don’t we? Which is a good thing, because you could NEVER outwit me!!! (Come to think of it, NO ONE can outwit me…..)

SAGITTARIUS (November 23 - December 21) - Who are you running off to save this time, dear Sagittarian? Just keep on running, ‘cause if I catch you, your ass is MINE!!!

CAPRICORN (December 22 - January 19) - My hard-working friend -- stay the course. And STAY OUT OF MY WAY!! Or I’ll squash you like a bug!!

AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 19) - Up on your cloud again? Do you even HEAR others?? ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME??? LISTEN TO ME -- I’M IMPORTANT!!!!

PISCES (February 20 - March 20) - My fishy friend, your psychic powers are truly substantial -- but NOT as substantial as MINE!!!! NO ONE is as psychic, gifted, intelligent, or talented as ME!!! SO just leave me alone, and go back to one of your many addictive tendencies.

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Now all of you -- leave me alone, and go off somewhere to wallow in the squalor of your ignorance……